Random Thoughts of Fighting Against Myself

Nothing,
Is the way it used to be,
Supposed to be,Ended up being,Wind.
We all wind up,
Blowing away
On my words.
So full of nothing,
I'm sorry
I said anything at all.

Finally the days of fun are going to over. The results are out and its official. What happened was never expected but this is not the end of life. I have to fight it . I have to be a sport and take life as it comes to me. I am rewarded based upon my deeds. During my early days those things were fun but know I realise I was buying death. And I am afraid of losing myself . Afraid of running away from college . Afraid of facing myself. Afraid of losing friends. Friends .. the magic lettered word that fills everyone's life wid joy and I am still to find those kind. So why am I afraid. I dont remember a person who had come to me for help and me saying no . I never expected people to reciprocate but I think I deserve a better deal than what I get from my so called FRIENDS. I share my moment of joy, they shared their moment of joy, I shared their moment of grief but when I feel like losing there is no one to hold me hand to pull me out off the grief. It's like I am surfing on the high tides and all are enjoying the show, they are still enjoying when I am going to drown. Are they refered as companions. If YES than thanks to GO for gifting so many and if NO than WHY? What was my fault. Its said that all gets what they deserve but I don't believe. I am getting a raw deal. But I have learnt to live wid it and I will fight my losing battle until I am gone or I have won. I will not give single opportunity to comment me . FCKUFUNDIE.
"LA SANGRE DE CRISTO, LA COPA DE LE SALVACION

What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
Never shined through in what I’ve shown
Never be
Never see
Won’t see what might have been
So I dub the unforgiven.
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
To be mistreated, to be defeated
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies